My to do list snafus were crippling me

Rest wasn't possible. Stress levels off the charts. This isn't sustainable!

Original image by Polina Kovaleva via pexels. Modified by Author.

“REST, please, rest! Quiet your mind and just go to sleep… you have done more than enough!”

I was desperately pleading with my mind. My body was exhausted, but my mind was still running nonstop with all these ideas and thoughts about what I should’ve done and what I could still do.

I had been going to bed late the past few days, staying up working on all the things I didn’t get the chance to finish earlier in the day.

I knew I could catch my second wind later in the evening, so I “had to” capitalize on that.

It wasn’t just because I was busy with other things.

It was because I stuffed my to do list to the brim with so many tasks to do that I couldn’t fit them in the time allotted.

I began with a handful of tasks to get done.

But once I started working on them, each task unraveled to even more things I needed to complete first before I could check off that initial task.

Each task was a whole project itself… not just one simple action to take.

That’s how my to do list kept failing me… while stressing myself out at the same time.

I felt like a failure and incompetent

I kept wondering, “How the hell are other people getting all this stuff done with also a full time job and other family obligations, too?”

“Ugh, what the hell am I doing wrong here?!”

So I pushed myself harder as I kept criticizing myself for not being good enough.

I shoved myself to my limits, dead set that my strategies were wrong.

I bought more audiobooks, I signed up for another program, or I sought help from another guru.

“They’re successful, so they must be doing it right!”

“If I do what they say, then all this would be easier and finally come together!”

But, nope, that wasn’t the complete picture.

Yes, I’ll admit that I did learn a lot from those resources, but they were also detours.

If you pressed rewind on what I was doing, you probably guessed right.

I was initially correct… my strategy was wrong, but I misidentified the error.

It was HOW I was setting up and using my to do list that failed me.

Sure, I learned what kind of tasks to focus on or new approaches that improved my process.

But the root cause was still my to do list…

I set myself up for failure from the start

I didn’t properly break down the tasks.

I didn’t set realistic timeframes for the tasks I wanted to get done.

I also allowed myself to get distracted with other things, too, instead of being laser focused on what I was working on.

My perfectionism also got in the way because “it had to look good” (thanks, graphic design background) and “it had to be done well, else why bother” (thanks, Mom, for drilling that into me).

Correction: The root cause was my beliefs.

It was what I believed in that drove my work ethic.

It was what I habitually did and told myself that created this mess I was in.

Also as a result of excusing my behaviors, I was giving myself permission to keep doing all this.

3 ways I course corrected my silliness

1 - Use a time tracking to do list app

• I compiled my to do list in one spot, instead of on paper, in a journal, or in different spots.

• It allowed me to easily move tasks around and set up better systems.

• I started tracking how long tasks were taking me, too, so I’m aware of this data point to plan better in the future.

• Plus, it also had the ability to add up all the hours and showed me clear visual marks for when I was exceeding the time allotted.

• BONUS TIP: Do factor the number of meetings/calls into your planning for the day. If you have tons of them, reduce your workload!

  • That causes you to work “over time” to compensate.

  • If you find yourself in this pattern a lot (which I did), the harsh truth is that something’s gotta give (the number of meetings or workload) because that isn’t sustainable long term.

2 - Set up my work environment to minimize distractions

• That meant closing other program windows, keeping my computer desktop and physical tabletop clean, and keep my phone on DND, faced down.

• I listen to the same playlist to help me anchor in focus. The repetition of this trained my brain to focus on the task at hand and helped me get into the flow faster when I listened to these songs. I do rotate between 2 playlists based on my mood if I need something calmer or boost myself with more energy.

  • Make sure it’s not distracting and be aware of what is being said in the songs, too, as those words unconsciously affect you in your flow state.

• Sometimes, I just need a change of environment and head on over to a coffee shop for a deep dive work sesh.

3 - Get ideas down and then tweak along the way

• It’s like starting to work out for the first few times. It’s not gonna be perfect right off the bat, and things might still be awkward. So just get it done and tweak the process as you go.

• Experiment to see what process works specifically for you.

  • I keep tweaking my to do list setups to figure out how simple/detailed or loose/strict of a structure I need to get to make this effective.

  • You might need to track A LOT in the beginning to learn your patterns first, then simplify it later since you know yourself better now.

• Evaluate and reevaluate your setup often.

  • Be ruthless and get rid of what didn’t work. Repeat what does (be careful not to “accidentally” scrap that, too!)

  • Use whatever data points you need to make sure you’re not burning yourself out with doing too much. (I even had to modify my plans early this week because I was unnecessarily trying to do too much in a short amount of time. It’s ok not to be perfect, just keep practicing.)

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail. ” ⎯ Benjamin Franklin

Like always, figure out what works best for you. Only you know that…

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USEFUL JOURNAL PROMPTS

Go take a look at your to do list, and consider: What is the bigger picture I want to achieve with these goals, and are these tasks really in alignment with that? How can I make this process better for me? What structures do I need to have in place to make my work environment more conducive to focus better?