How 3 major setbacks became my biggest comebacks and reasons to stay
Learnings on boundaries, burnout, and building a life in alignment
December has become a month of pause and reflection for me. Craving time to slow down, breathe, and step back to honor the learnings and experiences of the year that has passed. I find myself retreating into my introverted hermit mode—shutting out the world to create more serenity and limiting interactions to only those most dear to me.
It’s deeply humbling to look back at the lessons Life wove into this year’s challenging and celebrated moments. Some lessons felt like gentle nudges, while others shook and crumbled my foundation down to its core.
Regardless of how they showed up, they all shaped the way I’ve grown, the way I have or haven’t shown up, and the way I envision what’s possible moving forward.
In honoring that reflective spirit, I combed through my posts from this “year” (technically, 6 months of posts since I started this Substack) and highlighted 3 of the most impactful lessons I’ve learned this year—and hey, these may resonate with you, too.
SETBACK 01 — Burnt crispy by the endless comparisonitis chase
Here’s the dark secret and reality of entrepreneurship: people mostly openly share and emphasize their accolades and diminish (or hide) their behind-the-scenes turmoil.
Their success is like an iceberg. You only see the tip, but the mass of their success is underwater, behind the scenes.
You can never understand the depth of what they had to go through, even if you experienced it yourself… because you’re not them.
So when I was trying so hard to implement other people’s methods of success but not getting similar results, I blamed myself for failing again and kept chasing after the next potential solution. That’s when I realized that…
What I previously blamed myself for are actually outcomes for not doing things that are in alignment with me.
It wasn’t because I wasn’t “good enough” or “faulty” in some way.
It’s because I pushed myself to the point where I can’t force that inauthenticity anymore…
This was a rude awakening for me. Read the full post to get the backstory birthed from frustration and disappointments and the lessons it taught me that kickstarted a few big strategic pivots this year.
SETBACK 02 — Crippled by nonexistent work boundaries
When you’re depleted, everything feels urgent, and your boundaries are weakened. You convince yourself you have to do more, even when “more” is the very thing that’s keeping you stuck.
When you overpromise, you might think you’re helping your business, your audience, or your goals. But in reality, you’re eroding trust—both with yourself and with others.
Saying “no” isn’t just a boundary. It’s a gift to yourself and others.
There was so much more to this, so check out the full post to discover how those yeses deplete your energy + potential and my suggestions to help save yourself from that burnout promise quicksand!
SETBACK 03 — Drained by all the overdoing churn and burnout
When you push yourself relentlessly, you risk losing yourself trying to be like someone else or trying to impress others. You risk exhaustive burnout and sacrificing what actually matters. You risk draining your passion, focus, and motivation—the very things that fuel your business.
“So, what are you rushing towards?”
I had to ask myself this and ruthlessly modified my goals and schedule for the next few months. I created more space for me to reflect and breathe. I set firmer boundaries to protect my downtime and vacation.
The hardest part was being honest with myself as to what wasn’t sustainable or realistic for me. Just because it’s right for someone else, that doesn’t mean it’s right for me. I had to face my own limitations and own up to what I could no longer do.
This wasn’t easy to admit, and I share more in-depth in the full post on how I exited the burnout fast lane and tossed out the 3 productivity lies that were handcuffing me to overdoing and exhaustion.
Here’s another helpful post if your neverending to do list has been draining you and creating stress levels off the charts, too!
As I continue charging ahead as the Soulfueled guinea pig and advocate, please generously and wisely learn from my mistakes!
Take this moment to pause with me, reflect on how far we’ve come, and open ourselves to the extraordinary possibilities that await us in the new year.
P.S. Here’s a little secret: These 3 setbacks are also what I call “Entrepreneurial Sins” mentioned in my upcoming book “Escape the 7 Deady Entrepreneurial Sins: Avoid the common pitfalls and build a business you love”. I’m also working on a quiz to help you discover which Entrepreneurial Sins you might be most guilty of, and what you can do about them.
It was NOT a coincidence that these lessons heavily loomed over me earlier this year as they became excellent, undeniably relevant material for me to turn into a book.
So if you’re curious about the book or quiz, let me know! Who knows… I might give you the link to check them out before they’re officially released to the public.
USEFUL JOURNAL PROMPTS
What were valuable insights from your top 3-5 lessons this year? Consider how you can plan better and integrate those learnings so that you won’t have to repeat those same learning experiences again next year.